23 DAYS

I have 23 days left of summer vacation. After that I will be back to a very full schedule and I will continue to try and perfect the juggling act that is the life of a wife, mom, teacher, musician, Jesus follower, worship leader, singer/songwriter and sometime blogger. I woke up this morning thinking, "if I was truly the person I want to be, what would I do with my days?" It was as if a voice spoke to me and said, "give it a try for 23 days". What a thought! Where did that come from? I think I know. So I am going to listen to "the voice" and give it a try.

The wise person would know that we should approach every day this way. But I am not always wise. So I am conducting an end of the summer experiment. Am I up to the challenge? I don't know if I am. I know that if I'm being ultra spiritual I will say that God in me can accomplish anything. I believe that. I know it. But, I don't always act like I believe that and I know it. So, this is my end of summer experiment: live intentionally, on purpose, doing what I know I need to do for 23 days. No slacking off, no drowning in a sea of discouragement- even if it is not going the way I'd hoped, no backing out of this! 23 days.

Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:
My spiritual gifting is along the teaching and exhorting line. I like to encourage people. It makes me happy to give someone a pat on the back. I also believe people need to hear words of affirmation. So if I was the kind of person I'd like to be, I'd do more of that. Today's attempt at that? I've written notes to some really awesome people who I happen to know who I think could use a word of affirmation.

I'm still on a weight loss journey. If I was the kind of person I'd like to be, I'd eat healthy and exercise. It is 11Am and I've walked 3 miles with my little dog Ella. I love to be out doors. We have a lovely walking park in my neighborhood and this morning was especially enjoyable because there was a nice summer breeze and a lot of friendly people smiling and waving to me in the park. Ella sniffed a few canine friends and I exchanged pleasantries with other dog loving, walk loving humans from my neighborhood. I got a little more than I expected from my exercise goal...interaction with sweet humans! Hmmmmm, this experiment might surprise me!

My son is home for a couple of weeks. He is a twenty four year old and in between houses. He had to be out of his last home in Denton by the 20th of July and then can't move into his new home in Austin until August 3rd. He feels a bit displaced with all of his worldly belongings stashed into Tom's music room, but this mom is very happy to have her one and only son at home - if only for a couple of weeks. If I were the kind of person I'd like to be I'd encourage him, support him in any way I can and enjoy his 24 year old thoughts, perspectives and wisdom. I can learn a lot from that young man I raised. I think I'll take him for a cup of coffee at Starbucks ( he loves coffee) and listen to his youthful wisdom.

I could go on and one about the things I plan to do today to accomplish the purposes for day number one of my 23 day experiment. If you're not already bored...(you would become bored with the details.) But, what I am realizing in the first few hours of this "project" I've taken on is that this is how I should be living my life every day.

Here's a little word picture that is helping me learn this intentional mindset...
My wonderfully talented and wise husband, Thomas Burchill, has many young people approach him and ask him what they should do to get better at their instrument or they ask how can they become a successful professional musician. He patiently and very kindly tells them all the little things they should be practicing. Not on a "when I feel like it" or "when other things aren't interfering" basis - but the things they need to take care of every day- no matter what. Most of these people approach him with great enthusiasm about the great musician they intend to be or the big dream they want to accomplish. Then, when he explains the private time, sacrifice, faithful daily struggle in the practice room and the dedication it will take to get to their goal, I'd say 90% of them say they are too busy or they don't understand why they have to do all of the things he suggests. They were kind of hoping for the secret pill or the secret code for stardom. Many still think "I coulda, shoulda, woulda if I'd had the right connections, knew the right people, etc."

The reality of it is the 10% who have taken his advice are doing quite well musically. He has many, many former students who have won grammy awards, play with nationally known acts and have professional music careers. He would never "take credit" for any of their success. He just told them what he knew they needed to do. THEY did it.

Well, uh duh! I know what I need to do to reach my spiritual goals, my career goals, my personal goals, and my physical goals. I just need to do those things. No excuses, no waiting for the perfect day or for the situation to be "just right". I don't think there is going to be the perfect day to get started. So, I'm starting today.

By the way, one of the goals was to blog about this. So I just did. Join me in the 23 days of intentional living journey. Let's see where it takes us!

Soli Deo Gloria

PAM

Hoeing Your Own Row

Tom and I got married when I was just 19 years old. I remember that I felt quite mature and ready for adulthood at the time. Now, so many years later, I look at 19 year olds and think back to those days, scratch my head and wonder how did we manage it? I’m sure my parents worried and I’m positive they and my grandparents spent a lot of time on their knees praying for us!

We did manage. We were so in love that things like money and possessions really meant very little to us. We both had a pretty strong faith in God and a great love for each other and music. We believed (and still do) that this passion and love is God given, so living with very little was quite honestly, totally fine with us.

We were in music school working on our performance degrees so we spent most of our time during the day in class, and nearly all of our time after class in the practice room. I had a part time job in the library and Tom played gigs on the weekends. This part time work didn’t provide lots of money, but it usually paid the bills and allowed us to study, practice our music and pursue our calling in life.

The first summer we were married we had a week or two when we were a little short on cash. One of Tom’s acquaintances from school told him about a place in town where you could go to get “ pick up” work helping a couple of the farmers who had fields just outside of town. One bright and sunny August morning Tom announced to me that he was going to go out and try to secure some “pick up” work. Being a girl of the 70s I thought, “Well, if he can do it, so can I.” I told Tom that I was going with him so we could make twice the money.

Tom has always been supportive of me. I could tell he was skeptical, but he said if I really wanted to do this, it was fine with him. I said, “Just give me a minute and I’ll get ready.” So I went to the bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans and put on a casual shirt. I remember that it was my music sorority jersey. I put my long hair in pigtails and proceeded to put on full make up. (You need to understand that I was raised by a traditional Southern mother who taught me to always try to look my best when going anywhere in public). When I came out of the bathroom Tom said, “You look nice, but you realize we’ll be working outside on a farm don’t you?” I said, “of course, I’m wearing my jeans!”

I could tell Tom’s skepticism was growing, but he was nice enough to let me tag along. We went to this business in town where people who wanted to pick up daily farm work would stand and wait for the farmers to stop by. Pretty soon a very nice older gentlemen and his teenage granddaughter pulled up in their truck. The farmer explained that we would be hoeing beets and he would pay us what we considered to be a reasonable hourly wage. We, along with several other college guys loaded onto the truck.

We drove about 2 miles outside of our college town to a field of beets that looked like it must be a mile wide. We stopped along the side of the road and got out of the truck. The farmer demonstrated how to separate one part of the beet plant from the other with his hoe. He explained we were getting the beets ready to be harvested later in the week. He then assigned each of us two rows of beets. These rows were probably one half mile long. We’d each work two rows during the morning hours.

We all grabbed our hoes and went to our assigned rows. Fortunately, Tom’s was right next to mine. Everyone started making their way down the center of their two rows of beets. The farmer and his granddaughter were very experienced at this and they were 20 yards ahead of all of us in a matter of minutes.

I had trouble from the get go. I didn’t completely understand how to use my hoe to separate the one part from the other part of the plant. Tom stopped and took the time to show me the procedure again. This time I got the hang of it a bit better. By now, the rest of the crew was several yards ahead of us. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t keep up. I really could only manage one row. And if I am being totally honest, I wasn’t managing that one row very well. Tom worked tirelessly, maintaining his two rows and one of mine. Because he was working three rows he was behind the other workers and because my life and work experience consisted of checking out library books,being a cheerleader and a chick singer, playing piano and being a college music major, I could barely manage my one row. It was just a little humiliating.

I have a competitive spirit and was beating myself up all morning long realizing how far behind I was. I was also feeling terribly guilty that Tom was forced to do part of my work and that was causing him to fall behind. He was also worried about me and kept looking back to check on me.

When it was time to break for lunch I had made it to the end of my row. Tom had heroically managed his two rows and one of mine and the farmer and his granddaughter were sitting at the end of their row having a little break by the time we showed up. (I think they may have shared a laugh or two at my expense). They loaded us back into the truck brought us all back into town for a one hour lunch break.

Tom went back to the beet field that afternoon. I went home and took a shower and decided to go practice my piano. I was fairly confident hoeing beets was not my calling.

This story from our early marriage is one that Tom loves to tell. He especially likes kidding me about the sorority shirt and full make up. He also was aware that everyone on the truck was looking at me that morning and he interpreted their stares to say, “What the heck is she doing here?” You know what, they were right! What the heck was I doing there?

I was out of my element. I was trying to do something that I had no aptitude and no real desire to do. I mean, for the moment I thought I wanted to do it because I wanted to help make some extra money, but had I ever for one moment had a desire to hoe beets on a farm? Well, the answer is an emphatic NO! And that farmer and his granddaughter were highly skilled at harvesting the beets they had planted and tended. They obviously loved their farm and they loved their work. They were in their element.

I also was not able to keep up my assigned row. Tom had to hoe some of my row. Because he was not able to focus on his assigned row he was falling behind as well. He kept a great sense of humor about it, but quite frankly, the extra work he had to do because of me caused him to fall behind on the completion of his assigned rows.  He was relieved when I decided not to come back to work that afternoon.  Actually, I think everyone on the team was glad when I decided not to come back!

I hope the life applications to this story are as obvious to you as they are to me. I think for me, this is a lesson in God’s will and His calling. He gives each of us a row to hoe. This is our assigned task. He shaped us to be able to handle that assignment. We are to work at our assigned rows to the very, very best of our abilities. When someone takes on a row that they were not designed to handle, not only does their personal frustration grow, they slow everyone else down trying to make up for their deficiencies. Yes, we should all be Toms and be willing to help the one who is struggling; but, sometimes people are struggling because they are out of their element and their calling.

Also, sometimes people just feel so self-sufficient that they believe they can handle their row and everyone else’s. Or maybe they just want to be the overseer telling everyone else how to hoe their row and what they are doing wrong, but not willing to do the work of tending to their own assignment. These types of people ask, “Me? You want me to work hard? I’m more of the management type. I like to get a bunch of people around me and let them work hard. I’ll just evaluate their performance.”  Don’t you just love those people?

You have a God given purpose and I have mine. Your giftedness and your calling are different than mine. Don’t envy someone else’s assignment.  Rejoice in the gifts God has given you and rejoice in the assigned task He’s given you. If you want to expand your field of influence I believe you must work hard. (The Bible refers to this type of work as being “as unto the Lord”). Learning, studying, practicing, seeking mentors, praying, praying even more and giving everything you’ve got to complete your assigned row is your calling. This assigned row and how you handle it is an act of worship. God gave you the task. Being obedient to His calling is worship.

So, take on the task of your assigned row. With God as your supply and your strength your field will be tended and 

your harvest will be great.

Soli Deo Gloria

PAM

PERSPECTIVE

This has become such a huge, important word in my life. My husband, Tom, likes to use the word “awareness” right alongside the word “perspective”. Sometimes things we do and say and think are absolutely incorrect because we don’t have perspective.  I’ve been guilty of this. Perhaps you have been as well. 

Here is a well- known “perspective” story:  (a version of it is in Covey's “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”)

There was a businessman coming home from a very hectic day at the office. He lived in NYC and was taking his daily subway train ride from work to home.  As he boarded the train he was ready to sit and chill and maybe read a few of his notes from the last meeting of the day.  He sat down and comfortably settled into his seat and began to search for his notes. About this same time a father and his two children boarded the train and sat on the seat across from him. The father sat quietly as his children proceeded to misbehave - badly. The children were loud and quite obnoxious. The businessman was very irritated at this disruption to his subway ride. At first he just gave the children some disapproving glares and glanced at the father as if to say, “Do something about your kids”! The businessman noticed several other passengers looking annoyed and heard a few comments and loud sighs. After about 10 minutes of the children’s bad behavior the businessman could contain himself no longer and he blurted out to the father, “Sir, can you please do something about your children? They are being very disruptive.” The father, as if waking from a trance, replied, “Oh, I am so terribly sorry sir. I really hadn’t even noticed. You see, we just left the hospital where we all just said our final goodbyes to their mother. She passed away earlier this afternoon. I’m not sure how to handle this situation and I don’t think the kids know how to handle it either. I do apologize for disturbing you.”

The businessman immediately felt horrible and every bad feeling he had about the father and the children lifted. His tolerance for the children's bad behavior reached new heights and he gave the man his condolences and deepest sympathies. Every person in ear shot of the conversation and the kids changed their demeanor and mood immediately.

This story illustrates that PERSPECTIVE is incredibly important.  

Sometimes stories can help us gain perspective. Jesus used this method all the time with anyone he encountered.  He was the ultimate teller of parables or stories to make his points. 

I hope to write more stories more often on this blog. I apologize for not living up to my 2014 resolution to write daily. However, I’m not beating myself up about that. The resolution still stands. Life is a journey. Progress comes in little steps. Today I am a step closer to my goal of blogging regularly. 

Here is my PERSPECTIVE today….share your feelings of love and thankfulness with those that mean the most to you and show love and appreciation for all  those you come in contact with today. If they look or act differently than you, you should still show love and care filled courtesy and kindness. This is God’s way as I understand it from reading His book. Don’t try to guess what someone else is thinking or what their motives might be….quite honestly, you don’t have enough information! Stop gossip and slander. These are hateful things. Check out Ephesians 4:29 and Proverbs 16:28. 

And please remember the businessman, the father, his unruly children and the subway ride. You probably don't have enough information to make a harsh judgment on someone else. Be careful  (what a GREAT word –careful – full of care) with your words and pray for more PERSPECTIVE and quite frankly friends, pray for more LOVE! I'm not seeing as much of it among His people as I'm sure He desires. Also, some of us need to realize there is only ONE GOD, and that means there is only ONE Holy Spirit. And guess what? You and I are not it.

I sure do love Jesus and I’m glad He first loved me and I really believe He calls me to show His love to everyone I meet. Soli Deo Gloria  

PAM

 
Proverbs 21:23 – “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble”.

HEAVEN

Several years ago I was teaching my middle school general music class. Once a semester I would assign students the responsibility of coming up with something to perform for one another. This is a day that most of the students enjoy and I like to call it "talent day". Someone always surprises me on talent day. A student who has never indicated to me that they can dance might perform a wonderful ballet for the class, or a student might whip out a violin and play the heck out of a Texas fiddle tune. Someone who never let on to me, might be an excellent singer, a comic, a yo yo-ing genius or a soccer ball dribbler extraordinaire. And then there is always the class clown who is just double jointed and can contort like no other! I always enjoy talent day and my students do too.

This one particular talent day I was in for a unique surprise and an unexpected life lesson from one of my special needs students. Brittney wanted to perform that day. She was confined to a wheel chair with very little arm and hand mobility and no leg mobility and she had a very limited vocabulary. She did have beautiful shining eyes and a smile that seemed to never leave her face. She had chosen to sing for us. Now I must report that my public school music class and choir students are the most polite people when it comes to these special needs kids. They encourage them, help them and cheer them on to success. In my 13 years of public school teaching this has happened in every class without exception. I knew that this sweet girl, Brittney, would not be able to articulate the words of whatever song she had chosen, but that the students would smile and cheer her on. It would be a fun experience for her. Little did I know it would be a lesson for me and everyone in the room.

Brittney handed me her burned cd and I put it into the cd player. Together, she and I moved her wheel chair in front of the microphone at the center of the room. I went over and adjusted it. I knew she really couldn't sing the words, but I wanted her to feel like she was singing with a microphone just like the other singers who had gone before her. I went over to the cd player and clicked play.

The song began and I thought to myself, "oh, I know this song...we have sung it in church many times". So, Brittney started to kind of mumble along. As the song progressed the smile on her face got bigger and bigger and she mumbled just a little louder as the chorus started to play. The words were...

"Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine"

As we watched that smiling, wheel chair bound young girl singing, "will I dance?" "to my knees will I fall?", "will I stand in your presence?" there was not one child who did not understand the profundity of that moment. There was not a dry eye in the room.

As the song came to a close I had to collect myself. I think I understood, if only slightly, a little bit of what Brittney was saying to all of us. She was telling us of her hopes and dreams to dance and to stand and to sing and to drop to her knees. She was also communicating to us that she was confident this was going to happen one day. She was confident that in heaven she would be whole.

Now, I am not a theologian. I don't claim to understand the mysteries of life. Why was Brittney born to be a loving, smiling child confined to a wheel chair and in constant dependence to those around her? I have no idea. I cannot begin to understand that. I just have this child like faith that I cling to and it carries me through the good and the bad of my life. I am a Christian.

I have friends who don't believe in God at all. They are nice, intelligent people. Faith seems strange, maybe even stupid to them. I think it might be because someone who said they were Christian hurt them or didn't live up to their expectations of what a Christian should be. I certainly understand that! Maybe they look at folks like Brittney and wonder, "if God is a loving God how could He possibly allow an innocent child to have such dreadful limitations?" We've all wondered such things. I respect my friends who have chosen to believe God can't exist, but in my heart I know they are wrong.

Brittney strengthened my faith in God and in Heaven that day. You see, I don't believe she was put on this earth to be taught. She was put here to teach. And she taught me a great lesson that day. She taught me to believe in Heaven. All the things that are wrong with me, the weaknesses and the imperfections will one day be made whole. As I walk through this life I should do so with joyful expectancy like my friend and former student, Brittney.

I don't know where you stand on the subject of God and heaven. I'd like to encourage you to believe with child like faith. It works for me and it really works for Brittney. I'd also like to invite you to read the beautiful poem I've put at the end of today's blog. It was written by Morris West.

Might I encourage you to explore a little child like faith in the new year? My little bit of child like faith tells me that one day Brittney and I will be dancing together in Heaven! Happy New Year!

CLOWNS OF GOD

I know what are you thinking.
You need a sign.
What better one could I give
than to make this little one whole and new?
I could do it; but I will not.
I am the Lord and not a conjurer.
I gave this mite a gift I denied to all of you
ETERNAL INNOCENCE
To you she looks imperfect
but to me she is flawless,
like the bud that dies unopened,
or the fledglings
that fall from the nest to be devoured by ants.
She never offended me,
as all of you have done.
She never perverted the work of My Father hands.
She is necessary to you.
She will evoke the kindness that will prompt you to
gratitude for your own good fortune....more.....
she will remind you every day that I am who I am,
that My ways are not yours,
and the smallest dust mite whirled in darkest
space does not fall out of my hand.
I have chosen you.
you have not chosen me.
this little one is my sign to you.
TREASURE HER.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! 2014 is a new story to be told! There are three hundred and sixty five pages in the book of 2014. Let's write something beautiful on each one!

Beginnings are awesome. Beginnings are scary. I like beginnings. This new year I am planning on doing the whole resolution thing. Why not? I want things to be better and it seems like a good time to start the work towards that. Embarking on a new year reminds me of other "beginnings" in my life.

One beginning that I remember well is when my husband, Tom and I started out on our adventure to move from South Dakota to Texas. It was the summer of 1981. Tom and I were high school sweethearts. We got married shortly after high school and we went to college together. We graduated from college in 1980 and had worked in Sioux Falls, SD for the year after that, saving our money to move somewhere for graduate school. We had thought of going to Boston or Miami, but the school it looked like we could probably afford was UNT in Denton, Texas. It had a nationally recognized music school and jazz studies program and Tom had his heart set on studying Jazz Guitar at a reputable jazz school. I had my heart set on trying to help Tom make his dreams come true.

We had saved a grand total of $1000.00. That doesn't sound like much, but back then it seemed like a lot to us. We borrowed a trailer and hooked it up to our old Oldsmobile. We put every belonging we had in that trailer including all of Tom's guitars and our P.A. system. (It was very important that we had these items as this is the way we made our living...playing music).  It wasn't a very big trailer, but that didn't matter because aside from our musical equipment, we didn't have much stuff.  We headed on our way with a light hearted, positive outlook. We were "looking for adventure"and heading out on the highway. Little did we know, it was going to be a wild ride!

About 200 miles down the road, somewhere in Iowa the hot light went on. Tom pulled the car to the side of the road and as I got out on the passenger side, for some odd reason I bent over and looked under the car. It was on fire! We truly didn't know what to do. Being the genius that I am, I ran out into the corn field and panicked. Tom joined me. There were no real valuables in the car, so it seemed much more important to me to get away from the burning car so that we would not to be blown up on the side of the highway in the middle of a corn field in Iowa. Then, in what seemed like a few seconds a man in a truck pulled over, jumped out of his truck and put the fire out with a fire extinguisher. As quickly as he had done that he hopped back in the truck and drove off. Seriously, we didn't even have time to run over to him to thank him.

Staring at each other with a "what do we do now" look we see a vehicle pull up with a couple, about the age of my parents, in it. They got out of their car and said, "you two look like you need a little help". They proceeded to ask us to get in their car. Ok, now a days...after seeing lots of crime shows, and episodes of "I shouldn't be alive".... I would have never gotten in the car with these strangers, but we were young and foolish and didn't know any better.

If you are expecting a harrowing tale of horror, you will be disappointed. These were the nicest people! They allowed us to stay in the their home that evening, provided us with a tow (apparently, in this little town they knew everyone!) The next day their friend (the local mechanic) repaired the car and it only took a little over $300 of the $1000 that we had saved. We offered to take the couple out for lunch the following day, but they refused to let us pay saying that we better save our money if we were going to continue on to Texas.

And continue on to Texas we did. We were not deterred by this setback. We were young, in love, excited about the future and blessed by witnessing and experiencing the kindness of strangers when we needed help. My mom believes the truck driver who appeared and disappeared was an angel sent by God to protect us. My mom is right about a lot of things, so I'm not going to argue with her. Whether angel or mortal, he was an awesome guy for sure.

It has been 33 years so I don't remember the name of the couple that helped us. I remember the lady on her hands and knees scrubbing her kitchen floor that night after dinner. I got down on my knees to help her. She told me that they had a daughter about my age and they wanted to help because they would hate it if their daughter was out on the rode and had such a problem. The couple lived in a very simple little house. The room we stayed in was more like a storage room with a little bed in the corner. The kindness they showed will never be forgotten. They didn't have much, but they gave of what they had to us. They gave time, shared a meal, opened their home (we could have been drug crazed serial killers for all they knew) and offered many kind words and sage advice. I may not remember their name, but I will never forget the kindness shown by a sweet couple from a little farming town in Iowa.

We made it to Texas! There were a few more adventures on the way that I'll share another day here on my blog.  Much like our trip from South Dakota to Texas there have been a number of setbacks and days when we have stared at each other with a "what do we do now" look. But there have been other kind people we've met, we may not be young any more but we are still in love and excited about the future.

I hope you are too. Please know that beginnings are exciting, but they also can be quite hard. So, as you start 2014....go ahead and head out on the highway and look for your adventure! There will be setbacks, there will be times when you don't know what to do. But forge ahead. Keep trying. Know that God sends His angels in the most interesting ways into our lives.

Happy New Year! Enjoy your wild ride!

Oh..by the way, one of my resolutions is to blog every day...so keep me accountable and follow my blog. I promise to only be positive and encouraging.

PAM