Today is September 20, 2017

On August 22nd I was diagnosed with cancer. What a surprise. I didn't see that coming! When you hear the C word, it does take you a few minutes to digest it. Lots of horrible thoughts come flooding into your mind. Then, after a little while you realize, "Oh, ok. This is something I have to walk through. Put your big girl panties on and get through it."

So, that is what I'm doing. I'm walking through unknown territory. I had surgery one week ago today. I am amazed that it went as well as it did and I feel as good as I do. I'm a fortunate person who has not been sick too much in my lifetime. Modern medicine is truly remarkable. My cancer was in my uterus, so I had a hysterectomy. It was done laparoscopically, which means my surgeon is skilled with robotic surgery! Because of this, my recovery time will be much shorter than it would have been had they cut through muscles, etc.  The pain has been minimal. In fact, I think I feel great and start doing things around the house and then I get dizzy and crash. So...I'm taking it easy and trying to follow doctor's orders.

My surgeon took out some lymph nodes and we are still waiting on the results from the pathology lab. The prayer is that the pathology report comes back completely clear with no cancer cells present. Then, the surgery will be the cure.

Do I have any pearls of wisdom as I walk through this unexpected journey? Nope. Absolutely none. In fact, I'm kinda sick of people who seem to think they have it all together and can give you all of life's answers tied up neatly in a few paragraphs. I don't intend to be part of that club.

I was pretty sure I had my year all planned.  I had worked on my lessons for the upcoming school year during the summer and had attended some cool training before school started and I was ready to go. I also had been offered a weekly duo gig with Tom. We love playing together so I was so excited about that. Both of these things have had to be put on "hold". I wasn't planning on that. I guess I don't really know what to expect now.

But, I know that I will walk through whatever is put in front of me. I will make it through because I have a Savior who holds me in His hand. God will see me through. He uses kind nurses at the hospital and helpful techs. He uses brilliant surgeons, oncologists, anesthesiologists. He uses prayerful friends who offer a word of support and maybe stop by to just say hi, send a bouquet of flowers or a thoughtful card or text or instant message.  He also uses loving folks who bring a meal to help out.

I know I am thankful for Tom, my husband. He has been a jewel. He is so helpful, so kind. He's a true, loyal, best friend and understanding, loving partner for sure. I'm thankful for the prayers of friends. I'm thankful for parents who call every day to say they are praying for me and cheering me on. I'm thankful for a son who will take a break from his busy life to drive up from Austin to hang with his mom for a couple days as she recuperates. I'm thankful for a boss and a workplace full of good people who have all been supportive and understanding. I also have friends at church who are praying for me as well.

I'm ready to get back to work. Ready for some good news (hopefully, clear pathology report). This has been a wake up call. We can't always count on having all the time we thought we would. So, I plan on changing some things. I plan on doing things I love and looking forward and moving forward with purpose. I plan on giving up past hurts and complaints and moving on. I plan on not wasting my time with people who don't care two cents for me. If the big C word does anything, it makes you stop and think and decide. I've decided to enjoy my days and live my life to the fullest that I possibly can.

One last thing....I'm tired of chicken. It seems that when people bring meals to sick people the "go-to" meal is something with chicken. Over it.

That is all. No big words of wisdom. Just a wish and a prayer that all will be well and that we will move forward finding  joy and happiness, meaning and purpose. May God bless you, who took the time to read this! It is well with my soul.  Pam